


countries wild twitter accounts

by Culpeuslylcal



Category: CountryHumans, Geography (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Bad English, CountryHumans - Freeform, Everyone Needs A Hug, Help, Hispanic Character, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Social Media, South America, Twitter, hispanic autor, the countries have problems, the latinos are wild, the slavic family is more, they need therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21694612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Culpeuslylcal/pseuds/Culpeuslylcal
Summary: The countries have twitter and everything is chaos.F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero@TheUltimateMurica  u eat my tamales.Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMuricaNo.F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijoleroYES U DID.Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMuricaNO I DID NOT.
Relationships: Chile/Germany (Anthropomorphic), Italy & Spain (Anthropomorphic), Mexico/Russia (Anthropomorphic)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	1. The murica ate mexico's tamales

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING:  
> * Really bad humor, bad jokes and DARK STUFF.  
> * English is not my first lenguage.  
> * I write this stuff 3 am  
> * REALLY DARK STUFF, "DARK HUMOR"  
> * Everyone said bad word, so I do.

The New York times @NYtimes  
After a month of the public release that the country's representatives existed, here are a list of the country’s social medias [Link.]

Mom I’m gay @yesiam  
This is the best time line.

Americanino @aamorir  
Yesyesyes

Vodka @notstraugth  
I wonder how are they interactions.

________________

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@TheUltimateMurica u eat my tamales.

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica  
No.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero  
YES U DID.

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica  
NO I DID NOT.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero  
do not lie to me pendejo, I know it was you.

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
For god sake, Mexico no.

F For Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@HotChilePepper murica eat my tamales.

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
MEXICO DON’T.

I’m a country??? @HotChilePepper  
@TheUltimateMurica do you eat his tamales?

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
It wasn’t me.

I’m a country???@HotChilePepper  
@ThePlataQueen el gringo eat mexico tamales.

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
_w h y?_

Ehhh messi @ThePlataQueen  
@TheUltimateMurica u don’t have honour. Just like ur father.

Ready for the t @ukant   
@ next time coward.

Ehhh messi @ThePlataQueen  
Look, the pelotudo show up.

Ready for the t @ukant  
I will not follow you with the fight.

Ehhh messi @ThePlataQueen   
Translation: I don’t have the balls

I’m a country??? @HotChilePepper  
Focus in the murica. @TheUltimateMurica you eat the tamales.

Ready for the t @ukant   
@TheUltimateMurica did you eat Mexico tamales?

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
It wasn’t me. Why everyone think it was me?

F For Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero  
Cause uyou always eat my food.

c y k a b l y a t @SlavKing  
@TheUltimateMurica haha, fatass

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
@SlavKing get the fuck out

Maple uwu @candant   
@TheFrijolero hey, i have something to say

F for Tenochtitlan @Theafrijolero   
@canadant yes???

Maple uwu @canadant   
It was me, I eat the tamales, I’m so sorry.

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
@TheFrijolero I TOLD YOU, GOD, LOOK WHAT U DID @canadant

F for Tenochtitlan @Theafrijolero   
@TheUltimateMurica DON’T AttAcK HIM yoU BitcH. @canadant it’s ok, there were good?

Maple uwu @canadant   
Delicious Mexico, can invite u for some food to make my apologies formerly?

F for Tenochtitlan @Theafrijolero   
Of course honey uwu

Maple uwu @canadant   
Uwu

Yeah I’m @TheUltimateMurica   
This? Is favoritism.

Ehhh messi @ThePlataQueen   
He’s so cry baby, it reminds me to someone. Umhmm

Ready for the t @ukant   
Stop.

________________

Best noodle 🐍@sneakybitchy  
Can u describe how was being colonized by Spain??? @TheFrijolero

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@sneakybitch idk how??? Is like, have a father???

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
"Hippity hoppity you're now my property" —Spain, s.XVI

The Devil @MaricoDeArepas   
@HotChilePepper that can be any European country in any time in history.

Best noodle 🐍 @sneakybitchy  
You're so chaotic, I love it.

King of ñ @Spaña  
@HotChilePepper It wasn't like that

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
"Ding dong your religion I wrong" @Spaña s.XVI

King of ñ @Spaña  
@HotChilePepper Better.

________________

I'm the bad guy @duhhhhhh  
@TheUltimateMurica what do you think about Trump??

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@duhhhhhh he's my boss.

I'm the bad guy @duhhhhhh  
@TheUltimateMurica so… u don't want to say more or u can't???

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@duhhhhhh yes.

I'm the bad guy @duhhhhhh   
@TheUltimateMurica he is the worst boss u ever have?

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@duhhhhhh no.

BLACK LIVES MATTERS@michellej   
@TheUltimateMurica what do u think about our killing my dear country???? Black lives matter to u??

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@michellej if I'm your country, you are my people and I care about all my people.

BLACK LIVE MATTER @michellej   
@TheUltimateMurica and why we still being oppresed??

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@michellej I'm sorry. But I can't do more.

I look like beyonce?? @nobitch  
@TheUltimateMurica what do u mean??

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@nobitch I'm your country, but I can't control the racism in my people, in fact you control my own being, I only act when the people act.

I'm the bad guy @duhhhhhh   
U are gonna get in trouble with your boss??

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
Yes, but I'm in my brother house so he can't scream to me.

I look like beyonce @nobitch  
That's sound awful

BLACK LIVIES MATTERS @Michellej  
I recover a little of respect for my country. I hate Trump even more.

I'm the bad guy @duhhhhhh   
@michellej me too.


	2. THEY ARE GAY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some accounts of the latinos if you dont get who is who. A lot of them are references from the real life.
> 
> Mexico: F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero  
> Argentina: Ehhh messi @ThePlataQueen  
> Chile: I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper  
> Uruguay: ha @urgay  
> Paraguay: paragay @lilbrother  
> Peru: mmm pidgeons @Peruvian  
> Bolivia: Drama llama 🦙@BoliviaChiquito  
> Venezuela; The Devil @MaricoDeArepas  
> Colombia: It's white baby powder @colombiASS  
> Brazil: m a c a c o @Brazilisis

REBECCA @gaymood   
OMFG I JUST FOUND A PICTURE OF RUSSIA AND BITCH HES HOOOOOT _[Picture of Russia smoking next to the window wearing tight pants]_

REBECCA @gaymood   
Russia?? He can choke me to death with that tights and i will thank.

Yikes @freshavocado   
@gaymood he's body gesture look like he do ballet and I'm living for that.

An avocado @thanks   
RUSsIA DO BALLET?

c y k a b l y a t @SlavKing  
@thanks yes I do.

An avocado @thanks   
@SlavKing THIS IS THE BEST TIME LINE

Yikes @freshavocado   
@SlavKing I will love watching you dancing 💓

REBECCA @gaymood   
@SlavKing are you good dancer?

Cykablyat @bestslav  
@gaymood I guess so

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@gaymood HE IS THE BEST IN BALLET.

le cries in @French  
@TheFrijolero you're right.

Ready for the t @ukant   
I can't lie, Russia is really good dancer.

PASTAAAA @TheOnlyBambino  
Russia is THE ballet dancer.

Hallo @Germany  
@TheOnlyBambino I agree.

PASTAAA @TheOnlyBambino  
@Germany I didn't know that u have a Twitter???

Hallo @Germany   
@TheOnlyBambino It seen that everyone have it, so I think it will fun.

Please, don't @Ukraine  
@bestslav maybe, u are the best.

Òwó @Belarus  
He is.

***

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
Ay si they are in love with my culture. The 5 de mayo, el día de muertos y chingaderas.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
And when I tried to bring with that traditios another ones, they freak out and scream to me.

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@TheFrijolero YOU TRIED TO KILL ME.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@TheUltimateMurica I ASK YOU, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO EAT AZTEC FOOD?? AND YOU SAY YES.

yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@canadant HE TELL ME I HAVE TO TRY THAT FOOD.

Maple uwu @canadant   
@TheUltimateMurica no I have not. I was reading a book about Aztec culture and I read about the human food and I say aloud "what flavour will have"

Maple uwu @canadant   
And u said let's found out and we end in his house with you screaming and Mexico trying to cut your leg.

c y k a b l y a t @SlavKing   
@TheUltimateMurica thats happens to you for eating so much.

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica  
@SlavKing just don't.

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
I'm going to become vegan, I swear to God.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@TheUltimateMurica so sad.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
Real gastronomy has human meat in it.

Chinga tu madre ed maverick @chinaytumadrewe  
@TheFrijolero Uhmm pozole of Spanish conquests.

c y k a b l y a t @SlavKing   
@TheFrijolero I'm curious about Aztec history and culture.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@SlavKing come home, I'll give you pozole of USA legs.

c y k a b l y a t @SlavKing   
@TheFrijolero хороший.

Tikitaka @furginwaaaa  
@TheFrijolero you do cannibalism?????

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@furginwaaaa no, it's illegal. Do not eat humans, that's sick, you better eat an enchilada or tacos.

***

ehh messi @ThePlataQueen   
I'm gonna say the n word.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@ThePlataQueen are u drunk??? Without me????

Ha @urgay   
@ThePlataQueen pls don't.

Ehhh messi @ThePlataQueen   
I'm gonna say it…

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
@ThePlataQueen do it you lil bitchy coward snitch.

Parugay @lilbrother  
QUE NOOOOO

m a c a c o @Brazilisis   
I'm ready to see his ass getting kicked out.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@TheUltimateMurica MISS OBAMA

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
Argentina, don't.

Ready for the t @ukant   
@Spaña why are your childrens so chaotic???

King of ñ @Spaña  
I ask my own existing because them.

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
@ThePlataQueen YOU HAVE NO BALLS

Ha @urgay   
@HotChilwPepper stop hijo de puta.

Ehhh messi @ThePlataQueen   
n u k e s.

It's white baby powder @colombiASS   
No entendí.

The Devil @MaricoDeArepas   
MARICO.

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
JAJSJAKSJKSJDJA

King of ñ @Spaña   
That's it, I'm out of this family.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
No manches, casi me cago.

The Devil @MaricoDeArepas   
@nkorea they call you.

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@MaricoDeArepas VENEZUELA WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

너무 피곤해 @nkorea  
@MaricoDeArepas 예?

너무 피곤해 @nkorea   
@ThePlataQueen you want nukes? I can give you.

M a c a c o @Brazilisis   
@nkorea no Korea, he don't want it, he's drunk and he is stupid we sorry.

Ha @urgay   
@nkorea nonono it's not necessary.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
dorime 🙏

Mhmm pidgeons @Peruvian   
One day, just one day without being treated, can we have ONE day without thinking we are gonna die?????

Drama llama 🦙@BoliviaChiquito  
@Peruvian impossible.

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
@nkorea hey

너무 피곤해 @nkorea   
@HotChilePepper 예?

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
@nkorea for the moment we don't want nukes my friend, come back another time pls.

너무 피곤해 @nkorea   
@HotChilePepper ok then, have a nice day 친구.

Yeah I'm @TheUltimateMurica   
@HotChillePepper what do u mean come back another time??? U have to tell him no.

너무 피곤해 @nkorea   
@TheUltimateMurica too scared???

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@nkorea ya wey, i promise we meet again I give you that cosa remember??

너무 피곤해 @nkorea  
@TheFrijolero ok.

F for Tenochtitlan @TheFrijolero   
@TheUltimateMurica ni se te ocurra responder wey, te conozco. Déjalo.

It's baby withe powder @colombiASS   
@MaricoDeArepas WHEN WERE YOU LEARN

It's baby withe powder @colombiASS   
THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES????

The Devil @MaricoDeArepas   
Marico no pasó nada.

Ehh messi @ThePlataQueen   
I'm gonna say the n word

Ha @urgay   
@ThePlataQueen you still alive??

M a c a c o @Brazilisis   
@ThePlataQueen I don't even care, do it.

Ehh messi @ThePlataQueen   
N a z i.

Ha @urgay   
La puta madre que te re mil parió.

M a c a c o @Brazilisis   
This is worse.

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
JAKSJKAJSKSJSK CTMRE

I'm a country??? @HotChilePepper   
he just call me and say that hes account get suspended ASKJAKLSJALKSJLKAJS

Ha @urgay   
@HotChilePepper good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GO CRAZY.


	3. dont be sad lil bro:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO,,, hi,,,, i change the names bc,,, bc yes? so.... yeah,,,, enjoy

Mr. Worldwide @USA

My neck.

Can can can @canada

@TheMurica my back.

Mr. Worldwide @USA

@Canada Lick my pussy

Can can can @Canada

@TheUltimateMuruca and my crack.

T e a @UK

@Canada @USA shut up, please.

Can can can @Canada

@UK mY nEcK

Mr. Worldwide @USA

@UK mY bAcK

Kolalala @Australia

@Canada @USA my crippling depression attacks.

Can can can @Canada 

@Australia n,,,no,,,,we talked,,,, about,,, it

Koalalala @Australia

@Canada sorry, I miss you ;;

Can can can @Canada

@Australia m,,e t,,oo

Mr. Worldwide @USA

@australia Guess who is running to the plane.

Koalalala @Australia

@USA o,,,oh

Can can can @Canada

@USA you did it too.

Mr. Worldwide @USA

@Canada maybe.

Kolalala @Autralia

@USA I know you love me.

Mr. Worldwide @USA

@Australia I don't.

T e a @UK

@USA don't lie to him.

d i s g a s t i n g @Scotland

@USA yes you do you shit.

idk what i am @Philippines

@USA you do.

Kolalala @Australia

@USA :D

Mr. Worldwide @USA

@Australia I don't.

Koalala @Australia

@USA :(

Mr. Worldwide @USA

@Autralia, yes, yes I do, don't be sad we are on our way.

Koalala @Autralia

@USA @Canada u w u 

***

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

good morning thotties. im bored, q&a.

Umbrella @ellaellaeheh

@Argentina are all the Latinos siblings????

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@ellaellaeheh we share one dad so, you can say that.

Jackson @chickweed

@Argentina but I thought Uruguay and Brazil are dating???

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@chickweed idk if they are together now, but yes they have a story.

Jackson @chickweed

@Argentina it doesn't that Incestuous???

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@chickweed well, brz dad is Portugal and he is our uncle, so brz is our cousin.

ella @lzbiannnn

@Argentina you do Incest???

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@lzbiannnn well, we can't reproduce ourself, and half of Europe is Incestuous if you think about it, go be mad to that bitches.

Que haces besando @alalisiada

@Argentina Which of your siblings are you closest to?

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@alalisiada Paraguay, uruguay, Brasil. The worst of them? Chile.

half blind @Chile

@Argentina I hate you too.

Crowley big mood @gaysnake

@Argentina and Europeans?

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@gaysnake Italy is the only one who I respect.

i wanna be roma empire @Italy

@Argentina ti amo my lil boy<3

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@italy <3

F for Tenochtitlan @Mexico

@Argentina stop being so baby.

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina

@Mexico you are dad's favorite, let me be mom's ones.

king of ñ @Spaña

@Argetina we talked about it, I don't have a favorite.

The Devil @Venezuela

@Spain yeah, it probably wouldn't be Mexico he is a mess.

F for Tenochtitlan @Mexico

@Venezuela YOU say that to me?

The Devil @Venezuela

@Mexico I was never his favorite and I'll never be.

King of ñ @Spaña

@Venezuela ya lo hablamos. (We talk about it)

The devil @Venezuela

it is what it isssss

***

ARKANSAS @americaexplain

@Spaña in Latin America, who was the most chaotic children???

King of ñ @Spaña

@americaexplain all of them.

ARKANSAS @americaexplain

@Spaña can u tell us how?

King of ñ @Spaña

Mexico try to kill me to use my meat in his pozole.

F for Tenochtitlan @Mexico 

@Spaña pinche joto, that's the Real pozole

King of ñ @Spaña

Everytime I try to cut chile's hair he stabs me with my own sword.

Ihalf blind @Chile 

It was easy steal Spain weapons.

King of ñ @Spaña

Peru and Bolivia try to use me like a sacrifice in cuzco

Mhmm pidgeons @Peruvian 

Causa ya deje de llorar, that happens hundreds of years ago.

DramaLlamalama @Bolivia

Llorón.

King of ñ @Spaña

Chile try to burn me.

half blind @Chile 

Me second time??? It was an accident.

King of ñ @Spaña

No, it was not.

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina 

No, it was not.

King of ñ @Spaña

@Argentina u try to burn me too.

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina 

@Spaña yes, yes I did.

King of ñ @spaña

Colombia, Venezuela and Ecuador, they are like hell when they are together. They burn my stuff.

The Devil @Venezuela 

Ah Marico que Buenos tiempos

i'm american ass @colombia 

ya Viejo no llore tanto si lo queremos. (alright old man we lov u)

TURTLE @ecuador

Good times.

king of ñ @Spaña 

But then they start to behave.

t e a @UK

I always wonder how u make it.

F for Tenochtitlan @Mexico 

You don't want to know.

mr. worldwide @USA

The latinos never talk about it.

The Devil @Venezuela 

No we don't.

i'm the american ass @colombia 

And we never will.

*ratatuoille music *@French 

We will never know??

F for Tenochtitlan @Mexico 

No.

half blind @Chile 

No.

Mhmm pidgeon @Peru 

No.

I've been in crisis since 1930 @Argentina 

No.

i smoke weed, keep going @uruguay 

No.

i dont exist im an colective hallucination @paraguay

No.

Dramallamalama @Bolivia

No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sáquenme de latinoamericaAAA
> 
> (get me out of latin america A)


End file.
